Rs.5.50 Sir!

Weird as it may sound, I have this uncanny knack of getting caught by Traffic cops or at least coming close to getting caught (Remember "Night Rider"?!) Before I start narrating Rs.5.50, let me finish off the recent one which happened on this New Years Eve! It was one of the busiest roads in the metro and even at 9.30 in the night; there was a bumper to bumper traffic. I was supposed to travel 1 km more before I took a U-turn, but I knew that two wheeler riders took a U-turn in the gap that was available 10 feet away, though a board with a crossed U-turn was placed there. My friends had told me the traffic cops allowed two-wheelers and restricted only the other vehicles. But I had my doubts. I slowly neared the place and found a guy taking the turn right there. Still not convinced, I waved at the cop standing a few feet away and made gestures asking if I could take the turn. He could have very well answered me from where he stood. Why was he coming near me? How courteous!
Nearing me, he just turned the ignition off, took the key and walked back to where he stood earlier. Hey! He liked the keychain or what? He signaled me to park the bike in the roadside. I continued to push the bike as more bikers behind me, took the U-turn!! Dart!!!
It took me a good forty minutes to start again from there! I had to meet the sergeant, show the NOC (I was riding Cartoon’s Karnataka registration bike), License, RC Book, Insurance policy and even had to breathe out a whiff of air to prove that I was not under the influence of alcohol! Just when I got ready to leave, the sergeant wanted to know where I worked. That was it! He immediately called out to his subordinate. I was then made to explain the duo how I managed to get a job in this prestigious organization, which obviously means that I explained them all about Placements, Aptitude tests, Group Discussions and Interviews. After braving a volley of questions about higher studies, advantages of a MBA degree, brain drain and the best course the subordinate’s son should opt in engineering so that he had a bright future, I shook hands with them as they wished me a very happy and prosperous New Year!!
Phew!! Forty minutes of harassment just for the mistake of wanting to confirm things!

Now Rs.5.50!

It was during my first year in college. I had come home for the weekend and as per the custom, went to a movie with my school friend. On the way back from the movie, I dropped my friend in his home and was heading towards mine. Just as I took notice of the traffic signal situated at a distance of around 80 meters, it turned from red to green. I knew it was not quite possible to reach the signal and take the right turn before it turned back to red. Still, I wanted to give it a try. So, shifting to the highest gear, I opened the throttle. With a close watch on the signal I continued to race ahead. With just 10 meters to cover, I found, to my horror, the signal turn back to red. I still had just enough time to hasten and take the right turn before the vehicles from the opposite lane ran into me. I did take the right turn only to find a figure in white standing in the middle of the road with a circular plate in hand which had the words "STOP" written on it. I slammed the brake as the bike came screeching to a halt just inches away from the groin of the cop. Gulp! Gone!!
As per the traffic cops custom he immediately turned the ignition off, whipped out the bike key and asked me to park the bike on the roadside! After parking the bike, I found myself running behind the cop, begging him to hand me back the bike key! He looked at me; pointing towards the signal he asked "Why the hell do you think we have those colorful lights over there? For fancy? Do you know what red light means?" Oh! Ya! I knew about red light areas!! I continued to stare at him without any reply. Show me your license.
Hehehehehe!! Poor fellow! He wasn’t aware that I did not even have a learner’s license!
"Sir, I left it at home!"
"Wonderful! Rs.200 for jumping the signal and Rs.300 for driving a geared vehicle without a license. Pay the amount, take your bike and get lost"
Hehehehehehehehehehehe!! Crazy nut! Asking me for Rs.500!! I had just Rs.5.50 in the pocket!!
I stood still, keeping my face as pathetic as possible.
"What are you waiting for? Pay the amount and keep moving"
"Sir! I don’t have that much money!"
"Then I have no other option than to book a case against you! You have to come to the court! Pay the fine amount there and take your bike"
Court! Case!! Fine!!! Bhoo… :(
"Sir, I am studying in blah…blah…blah…My dad is working in …more…blah…blah…blah"
"I can’t help it! Pay the fine and keep going"
Then slowly he looked around and came near me. Jerking his thumb in the direction behind him he asked "You see that auto driver over there?"
"Yes! I see three drivers"
"No. Not all of them! The first one. Go over to him. Hand him Rs.100 and keep moving. I have work to do"
Hehehehehehehehehe! I have only Rs.5.50!!
"Sir…."
"Hell! Do what I say!"
"But I don’t have that much money"
He stared at me for a long time, muttered something under his breath and said "Just hand over all the money you got with you and get lost"
"But…."
Without paying any heed he walked away to catch another unsuspecting victim.
I walked up to the auto driver and looking around slowly pulled out the tattered five rupee note from my left pocket. I dug into the right pocket and pulled out two twenty five paise coins. Rs.5.50!
"Brother…"
The auto driver looked up. "Errr… the cop over there asked me to hand the money over to you’
"Oh! Okay! Okay! Give it to me"
Without looking at him I deposited the tattered note and the couple of coins on his open palm.
"What is this?"
"He asked me to give it to you"
"The cop asked you to hand over Rs.5.50 to me?" He asked controlling his anger.
"Err…yes...errs...No...Not exactly. He asked me to hand over all the money that I have and that is all I have"
Without a second thought the driver started calling the traffic cop, waving his hand frantically and jumping up and down. He went like "Sir!! Sir!!! Aiyo Sir!!!!"
"Hello! Hello! Brother! Why are you calling him? I did what he asked me to do! Please! Leave him alone. He has work to do"
But it was too late. The cop was already on his way towards us. I went and stood behind the driver.
"What is the matter?"
"Sir! This fellow is giving me Rs.5.50 Sir!"
There was no reply from the cop. He stood still and after a long silence he asked "How much?"
"Rs.5.50 Sir"
He motioned his hand asking me to come near him. I slowly went near him as he removed his cap and wiped the sweet on his forehead with the kerchief.
"You really have only Rs.5.50 with you?" he asked in a tone choked with emotion.
"Yes Sir!" said I almost on the verge of tears.
"HELL!" he yelled "Why the hell do you drive a bike then? You took the life out of me! Here! Take the key and get lost". He flung the key in my direction and I caught it before it hit my face!
I walked triumphantly towards the bike, started it and rode off with the proud feeling of being the only person who offered a bribe of Rs5.50 to a government official!
Hehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!